Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This Means War...


"Licenced to kill gophers by the Government of the United Nations", remember when Bill Murray said that line in Caddy Shack years ago and made going after ground hogs famous? That same line was repeated by me a couple of weeks ago at my own house.

A couple of weeks ago on a warm sunny morning I just happened to go into the sun room and look out at the pool. What do I see? A young ground hog running around the concrete eating the weeds that have come up and the flowers growing around the flag pole. Now that made me mad, but when I looked out again a little later and there was two young hogs playing and their mother leaning down into the pool getting a drink of water I could only see red.

I am a pretty good shot, but when shooting around the pool there is no margin for error, and if the bullet goes through them and comes out I could be in trouble. So I go out and look things over, I notice that in a short time they have five hole dug under the concrete in the back part of our pool and they have set up a home on my property. This just can't be, something needs to be done. My father-in-law drops off a large live trap while I am gone and he and Linda set it up with apples and put it into the area. A day goes by and I decide to give them what they want, I dump the apples put some lettuce in it, place the trap at a different area and place a couple of pieces of lettuce from the hole to the trap and in no time, I have myself a young hog.

Now comes time to dispose of the critter, my plan a 22 round to the head. Well you would have thought it was a person. Linda and Shane both give me fits. So we load up the hog in the back of my truck and take it for a drive, I am surprised they didn't make me turn on the hogs favorite radio station and let it ride in the air conditioning. We find the place they like for it to live and cause problems for the local farmer and Linda sets it free.

I don't know if it scared off the mother and other young one but we have not seen them or any signs of them since then. If they dare show there faces around these parts again, I will be ready for them. "Here mister gopher I am just your friendly squirrel".

6 comments:

Sparky said...

Good pictures of the hogs. Nice story.

Chuck said...

Good Luck.

We had Hog issues at our old house. I too was unable to shoot them due to proximity to the pool and trapped them instead.

One died of a supposed heart attack while in my custody in the trap. The coroners report found no sign of foul play.

Two were transported to a nice field near a certain fire station to serve out their final days eating someone elses flowers.

I found that the "city" ground hogs at my old house were partial to cabbage.

Woody said...

He must have been an engine gopher If he was dumb enough to try and wreck havoc on a Truckie's house...

Anonymous said...

Brad, wait till the next time that I see you. All I have to say is Man Card.

WM

Anonymous said...

OK I'll see your hogs and raise you 4 skunks that have sealed there own fate....Skinn

Jan said...

Ooh... Thank you to Linda & Shane, Baby ground hogs are so cute.